Super Heroes

So now LunchBox is all mad at me. Apparently I have to include him in all my blogs. I guess he’s right, after all it is the adventures of beerman AND Big Mike. You’ll notice…still no pictures.
Let me start by saying, if you’re reading this it’d be nice to know who you are, so take the time to leave a comment you lazy bastard.
Anyway… LunchBox and I have decided to become superheroes. We need a little help on the names, but we are thinking of Fatman and Gobblin’. We could be known as the Titanic Duo or the Caked Crusader and the Boy Wonder Bread. We could rush off to the Fatcave (which would be the fridge)and have all kinds of neat toys in our utility suspenders, like a can opener and maybe some buy one get one free coupons.
We could have arch enemies like Salad Bar and Jenny Craig. Can’t you picture us headed for the All You Can Eat Mobile?
Do you see how my mind works now? This is what we do on a daily basis. The other day we laughed about some silly jokes we made a month before. I was scrolling through my text messages and it reminded me of some of the silly things we’ve done. For a couple weeks we decided to text each other as Brittany Spears (way back before she was LEGALLY crazy). Imagine getting a text out of the blue in the middle of the day that made you unexpectedly break into laughter. I remember my favorite was still “Sean Preston, go break your pork bank, Momma needs a RedBull” or the classic “Sean Preston, you watch the other one. Momma’s going drankin’”
So as super heroes, I’m guessing LunchBox and I would be assigned to fight depression by making people laugh. I’ll accept this mission wholeheartedly. I truly think the world is a better place when people are smiling, laughing, and being silly. There are no wars when you are giggling. Divorce is not as painful when you are not thinking about it. Funny is free and doesn’t get billed. Bottom line to me is, avoid reality. Live in my fantasy world.
Ok, maybe it doesn’t work all the time, but it is fun to visit.
The other day LunchBox and I had a long discussion about the important topic of how great it would be if South Carolina played Oregon State in any sport. Why you ask?
If you know sports, you’d know South Carolina goes by the name of Gamecocks… or ‘Cocks for short. Their gear became all the rage when they started calling themselves the ‘Cocks. Oregon State’s teams are the Beavers.
Do you see where I’m going with this?
Of course you do!
LunchBox and I already have a half dozen t-shirt ideas.
“Cocks suck!
Beavers Stink!
We also spent a solid half hour on headlines for after the game.
‘Cocks blow it early.
Beavers pounded.
The possibilities are limitless.
Pretty much every day LunchBox and I spend together involves some kind of crazy story or funny scheme. Yesterday we discussed how great it would be if everyone had thought bubbles above their heads, and then of course we went around the bar and figured what everyone’s would say. We followed that up with closed captioning a conversation between two man-hating women at the end of the bar. It still makes me laugh when I think back on it.
I’m off to prepare for the Great American Race… but if things are bad and you need the help of some superheroes, just turn on the Fat Signal.
It’s shaped like a turkey leg.
If we can’t get there, we’ll send Super darlin’….
Maybe I’ll save that for the sequel.