Crazy Came to Town

Some days you feel like going out and letting loose. Some times those days turn out to be fruitless. You travel from bar to bar having the same conversation with the same people that you’ve had time and time before. Beer gets bought, money spent, time wasted.
Some days you don’t want to go out, but Big Mikey talks you into it.
I didn’t really want to go out, but there was nothing on the tube. Tuesday there’s Reaper and Thursday there’s Celebrity Rehab, but Wed. there’s nothing. Turns out I forgot one of my commandments for Port Charlotte. I’ve often said in this town you really don’t need cable tv, the entertainment in town is free.
Wow, was it ever. The purpose of the evening was to deliver a rap sheet on a potential stalker to one of our treasured bartenders. Simple job… in…a beer…out… Didn’t work that way.
I’m a single guy, having done my time in the penitentiary known as marriage and been paroled. I do still on occasion like the company of women though. On this particular evening, the bartender pointed out a nice tall leggy blonde who had a boyfriend that she considered subpar. Ms. Bartender thought the gal could do so much better. I questioned M&M (our tender) about suggesting me as a potential replacement. Seems she never thinks of offering upa sales pitch in my direction or LunchBox’s since he’s single too.
The next trip to the bar for an order found M&M with the chance to offer up kind words about either I or LunchBox and Miss Blonde took the bait and ventured over talk to us. She seemed like a nice gal. Easy on the eyes, no screechy voice that only dogs could here, new to the area, no visible scars… totally worth further exploration.
And then CRAZY came to town. It got there pretty quickly. Much faster than I had expected. It came out of the blue. It came rather matter-of-factly.
It appears spirits had followed the blonde from up north and were keeping her up nights dismantling the inner workings of her bathroom facilities. M&M suggested some bizarre remedies involving sleeping in a salt circle and taking a vinegar bath….
And I couldn’t help wondering exactly how crazy got into town. Did it take the bus? A plane? Why did it feel the need to visit this particular blonde?
I constantly hear cute gals complain about no good men left in this world. Of course all those gals are attached to the wrong men and refuse to leave them. Now the flip side… all us princes (or toads waiting to be transformed) which includes LunchBox and I are stuck dealing with Crazy.