Working My Way Back to Funny?

Hockey games, horse races and cars going round in a circle. How much fun was that? That was one heck of a finish at Richmond. Sports-wise it was one of the best weekends in sports so far this year. Wonder Twin won the derby pool and ‘Box won the driver pool. We all enjoyed the festivities and were all saddened by the misfortune of Eight Belles. It’s never a good thing to have to put down one of the beautiful creatures of nature. I guess one minor silver lining would have to be that at least it was quick and relatively painless. I’m reminded of the glassy eyed look and bulky apparatus used to keep Barbaro alive after his broken leg.

I have to add the “teaser” for tonight’s local news. How to protect your kids and family pets from a new strain of deadly rabies-infected bats coming to SW Florida... tune in at 11. Shouldn't we be told about this immediately?

I also have to add that I’m still stuck in the “unable” to sleep phase. No wonder with the killer rabies bats flying just outside my door. I’ve seen every bad movie ever made in the last month. I had to text ‘Box at 4AM the other day because I was watching Karate Kid 2 and I made myself laugh at changing the lyrics for the theme song. It’s Peter Cetera, famous as the lead singer of Chicago, singing We Did it All For the Glory of Lunch (Love). That was easy…the good one was the line that went … I am a man who would fight for the Amish!
News teaser number 2…. Helping Animal Services take care of dozens of abused puppies... Film at 11. How can I not want to stay up for this video?

‘Box and I have several easy rules for ruining songs. Replace Love with Lunch …examples:
I’m all out of Lunch, I’m so lost without food. (Air Supply)
Lunch Stinks (J Geils)
Lunch is a Many Splendored Thing (the Four Aces)
Give me Lunch, Give me Lunch, give me Ham on Wheat (George Harrison’s best work)
Oh my love, my darling, I’ve hungered for your lunch (the Righteous Brothers)
Wide Men say…only fools are thin…but I can’t help ordering lunch with you (Elvis)
Another easy one is replacing the word woman with Mormon… Examples:
American Mormon, stay away from me. (Guess Who)
You make me feel like a natural Mormon (Aretha Franklin)
Girl, you’ll be a Mormon soon (Neil Diamond)
I am Mormon hear me roar (Helen Reddy)...in numbers too big to ignore
LA Mormon, Sunday afternoon (the Doors)… this could also be Deli Mormon or Deli Woman

Teaser 3!!! Coming up at 11…Meat your family shouldn’t eat. Please, this is getting too easy.

Friday afternoon ‘Box and I spent some time at Nav-A-Gator Bar and Grill.
We both LOVE this bar, we just wish it was closer. We haven’t been there in quite a while and we were pleasantly surprised by the reception we got upon arrival. It’s always nice when we get remembered.
We were lucky enough to have our true ‘lil superhero Shorty behind the rail. ‘Box and I count her as one of our favs. Here’s a pic of her. Once upon a time in a galaxy far, far away, I made her the bartender of the month for the bar rag which wasn’t paying me to work for them. (I know…let it go Dave…lol) If you get time, there are some great pictures on their website at www.nav-a-gator.com or www.myspace.com/navagatorbarandgrill.

While sitting there and having our usual dozen beers, Box and I came up with a couple of ideas.
One I’m not going to throw out there since the rag seems to steal my good ideas and call them their own. The other, which came later in the drinking, was to remake old comedy series with new actors playing the characters.


We immediately went with Christoper Walken playing J.J. Evans and Kathryn Hepburn playing Florida Evans in the remake of Good Times. Dyn-o-mite!
It eventual led to Christopher Walken playing George Jefferson, Archie Bunker and Hawkeye Pierce. Sorry, when we drink we get on a track and stay there. I have a feeling that this idea will resurface soon as it holds a lot of funny potential.

To end it all up for this blog, I’m finishing with an ex-Philly sports star that happens to be playing in the Conference Championships of the NLL this weekend.
For those of you not familiar, the NLL is the professional indoor lacrosse league. This canuck happens to be in his 18th professional season and is a 9 time All-Pro in goal. He holds every record in the book for goalies. He’s currently playing for the Portland Lumberjax, but for 6 years or so, while playing for the Philadelphia Wings, he played roommate to this Beerman. I want to wish him luck and can’t wait to see him again soon.
Maybe I’ll write a blog about all the silly things we did over the years, like filling out his official media guide with off-the-wall answers (least favorite team and why?...answer: the Toronto Rock, because I hate them with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns.
Yes, this was used in the official media guide of the Wings) or breaking the MVP trophy on the way home from the Championship game while stopping to pee.
Ahh good times. Good Luck to you Dallas Eliuk!

Speaking of Conference Finals…

Go FLYERS! (trying hard not to jinx ‘em, eh ‘Box?)