The Garden State of Eatin'

On the Streets East of Philadelphia…

Our journey has begun…. And we come to you, with open arms… Journey… get it?
I’ll chronicle what I can next to the sleeping snoring giant that is LunchBox… NO we are not sharing a bedroom… WE ARE NOT GAY!!!… but I have decided we share a brain. Sometimes we let the Damsel have it on weekends.
Tonight we are lucky enough to have some couches at ‘Box’s sister house outside of Blackwood, NJ.
It soooooo beats last night’s resting place. That would have been a rest stop in NC. We pulled in around 2:30AM, after driving for 12 hrs. It was NOT a comfortable evening. It ended at 6AM.


Box slept in the truck bed. He woke up rippled from the bedliner. He had a blanket and a rolled up jacket for a pillow….
HE was the lucky one.
I got the cab of the truck. I swear at one point I had my foot in my mouth. I haven’t SEEN my feet in years, yet somehow managed to get contorted into sucking my own toes. I ended in at least three positions NOT in the Kama Sutra. To top all that… it was freezing! I’m sure it dipped into the 60’s! Hey, I’m from Florida and my house remains at 88 all the time. In my house if I want to cool it off, I turn on the oven. Remember... practicing for Hell.
I lost a quarter inch of enamel from my teeth due to the chattering. Combined with that was the fact that whenever ‘Box rolled over in the back I had San Francisco flashbacks of the earthquakes. I slept on and off for what seemed like minutes.

We did have a good time along the way. We set up what I consider the mother of jokes. ‘Box has an old countertop model phone from the 70’s. We’ve adopted it as the Fatphone. We take it into bars and set it on the rail and when people ask about it we tell them we’re expecting a call from Commissioner Gordon (you know… the Fisherman).


We decided to bring it along so we could torture people on the road with it. Imagine looking over at the car next to you and seeing someone talking on an old model receiver like it was a cell phone. We thought it was hilarious. We laughed and laughed….

Not one person noticed.

If a fatman makes a joke in the forest and no one gets it, is it still funny?


We also adapted our version of a dashboard Jesus.

Here we are at South of the Border.

Here is 'Box's fantasy.
The "gorilla" my dreams.


So far the highlight of the trip… WAWA!
If you are not from here or have never been to the Northeast, you will not appreciate the magnitude of Wawa. Having been away from here… I do. The first one was in south Virginia…

I cried.

I LOVE Wawa.

‘Box LOVES Wawa.

Anyone who knows us knows we don’t stop talking. We get started going and its non stop. When we left Wawa, there was nothing said for almost 30 minutes. It was like being in church. I had a 24 oz coffee and we both got iced tea… I still get misty thinking about it.

When we leave we WILL be taking back cartons upon cartons of Wawa iced tea. It is the thing I miss the most from here. It is all I want for Xmas and my birthday every year. It has been a deciding factor in whether or not to make the trip north.

So… we made it to NJ. We’ve eaten, we’ve slept on and off, we’ve drank at a tiki bar. Yes we came 1,100 miles to drink in a tiki bar in NJ! I’ve gotten to meet some of ‘Box’s friends and I understand more. His friends share his sense of humor and I look forward to the party on Sunday. They are very welcoming and it WILL be fun…

Today he gets to meet more of my friends. It also WILL be fun.

I’ll try to keep the story going and take pictures.

Oh, by the way… here’s outside Baltimore when I had to stop for the facilities. ‘Box warned me not to stop at the rest stop because I “didn’t want to poop with the bus people...


Here was the sign from above….


And the walk of shame afterwards…

And I would love if someone could tell us what exactly that smell is in the truck? Two fat guys in a truck is too many fat guys in a truck.

Tune in as the adventure countinues!!!!