Fill It Up, Pump Monkey

I know y’all are waiting on the edge of your seats to find out what’s happening in our adventure…

Our last installment left the Superheroes in the Garden(smelling) State of New Jersey readying themselves for the Memorial Day party.
The party was one of the main reasons for the pilgrimage.
There was some serious driving back and forth to PA before the Sunday fest and somehow the smell in the truck EVOLVED!!!
On Saturday morning, in an effort to mask the stench of two fat guys in a truck, a new odor was added. ‘Box got the great idea to try to mask the smell with an apple scented spray air freshener….

Silly ‘Box.

We had fun renaming the odor Johnny Rotten Appleseed Ass.

Oh, by the way… after the third day of this excursion, I was finally able to get a blanket and experience a non-teeth-chattering night.

Now, on to the party… I have to preface the party by saying ‘Box’s mates are all good guys. I got a great welcome and Tex (as he’s known in his hood) was a hit. He got hugs, fist pumps, chest bumps, and back slaps from everyone at the party… and that was a lot of peeps. My guesstimate was close to a hundred. Y’all are welcome at my place anytime.

Carl…

AWESOME… just AWESOME.

I’m wondering how I’m going to fit all the fun into this blog?
I have to tell you about the first half hour of the Fest. I call it the Vinnie phase. You have to imagine the South Philly/Jersey accent. The discussion revolved around the current status of Vinnie and it went like this….

“Where’s Vinnie?”
“Vinnie’s dead yo”
“No f#ckin’ way”
“Yeah, Vinnie’s dead”

Enter the next contestant….

“Yo, you hear about Vinnie? He’s dead, man”
“Vinnie ain’t dead. I saw him last week”
“No way, he’s dead man”
“I heard he was in jail, but he ain’t dead”

Next entry…

“Dude, you seen Vinnie?”
“He’s in jail”
“I saw his girlfriend. He’s in jail”

Next…

“Dude, where’s Vinnie?”
“Vinnie’s dead”

This went on for 30 minutes. No lie. In the end, I think Vinnie’s alive but he may actually be in jail.


The party progressed. The food was awesome and just kept coming. The bands were great… Them Bones and Oedipus and the Mommas’ Boys… and oh yes, the Philadelphia Eagles String Band. If any or all of you read this, forward me your myspace accounts so I can keep up with the music. I sure wish SW FL had this kind of music. There was a great merge of Rage Against the Machine with a set of old rap (think Can’t Touch This and Ice Ice Baby with a head banging beat).
There was plenty of Bud, Burgers, and Broads (Jersey style)…lol.
Yes, it ended with the singer wearing our mullet wig and a Coyote’s headband, a mosh pit, Box doing a keg stand and yes there were cops! Only one arrest and the last I heard she was fighting it (she deserves a pass on it for sure).

Box and I had a lengthy discussion about how this party could not have happened in Florida. Among the reasons were red ants, heat, baby mama drama and handguns.

There was a good story that I want to tell. Hopefully it doesn’t ruffle any feathers and if it does, comment in a hurry and I’ll remove it. It seems one of Box’s oldest friends Jimmy has a tad of a reputation for being a dog. During the party, he and his current live-in got into a little tiff regarding someone being overly friendly towards Jimmy. She left the party while Jimmy stayed on. We found out the next day that Jimmy had to deal with some police activity after the night as well, as his live-in took both sets of his truck keys, some money, and some of his possessions. I found out a couple days later that Jimmy has a new live-in and sold the old gf’s plasma tv to cover his losses. Jersey crazy is just as good as FL crazy. Will Jimmy ever learn?


We spent a couple days in Blackwood and got to meet a good bartender, Ida, who ironically used to date Jimmy and got a real kick out of the Jimmy story. We met some more of Tex’s peeps and got a car out of impound. We got some great hospitality from Box’s sis and family and made it to Wawa EVERY day.

Tuesday led us back to PA.

The truck's smell is starting to subside.
I spent a day working the steel wheels of the print press, we had some more Wawa, we spent a night visiting with a new little superhero that needs a name (Jen), we witnessed her child drinking syrup from the container, we drank some beers, we saw some old friends and made some new ones, and we just plain enjoyed the trip. I got to eat breakfast at the Classic Diner, one of my all-time favorite diners (a spinach and blue cheese omelet with a side of scrapple that was big enough to feed a small family) and got to see Chrissy if only for a second.

On Wed. Box and I and some friends got a chance to see the Lancaster Barnstormers play the Long Island Ducks in Lancaster, PA.
What a beautiful stadium and such a pleasure to see my good friend Redfish Bob. We spent many nights at the ballpark next to my house in FL, working through the pitiful excuse we had for a ball team. There were “staff meetings” in the locker rooms and post game meetings at the bar where we discussed many important beer related facts and figures and how much better our surroundings could be. I’m so glad he traded up!
Redfish Bob invited Box and I to join him in Atlantic City to reunite with Cecil Fielder, our old manager, but Box was getting homesick and there was no way given my financials that I wanted to be anywhere NEAR a blackjack table. We parted over pictures and pitchers, vowing to remain in touch. I secretly hope we get to work together for a Major League team someday.

The last few days I’ve been procrastinating over my next step. Box has decided to leave on Saturday morning as he’s anxious to get back. He has a job to get back to and AC in his house. I’m sure he misses the family and the Damsel. I struggled over the decision to return for way too long. I put off every decision until it gets made for me, eh Box?

I’m lucky enough to get some work up here from my bud and ex-business partner, Dubya, and since WonderTwin and the Nipper have flown in with my mom, I’ve decided to stay for another week. Besides, Monday is Twin and mine’s birthday and the thought of spending it on the road wasn’t appealing. I will miss not having the ‘Box around to share it with or any of my FL buds (especially u Damsel) but I really want to spend it with Sis, after all we shared a womb, and Uncle Fungus needs a birthday hug from a certain lil princess.

I apologize for the quality and amount of pictures included. The laptop I am using does not have my best graphics manipulation package and we left some cords in Jersey and couldn’t load any of the good party pics. I’ll make sure when I get back to edit some in.


I’ll leave you with an explanation of the blog title…
New Jersey has mandatory full service gas stations.

Stayed tuned…
Miss ya Box. It’s not quite as much fun laughing by myself